Dear Dalton,
I live in Toronto and lately there have been ads all through the public transit system telling women to "get in position" and get a pap smear. Have you ever had a pap smear, Dalton? No, of course you haven't. Ask your wife about it, I'm sure she'll tell you it's less than lovely. The reason for that is fairly simple: speculums are EVIL things. They even look evil! See for yourself: http://www.hartelaw.com/Waiping/images/speculum.jpg
Now, the vast majority of women are dissatisfied with the quality of speculums. Pap smears are uncomfortable, if not painful. Could it be that having a doctor "gently" shove a metal object in your vagina is less than optimal? I realise that some speculums are plastic, but I have only experienced the (cold!) metal variety, and have heard that the plastic ones aren't much better.
So, in the interest of women's health and comfort, my friend Dani Coutu-Shaw and I have a suggestion for you: Sub-contract the design and material of speculums to a woman-friendly sex-toy company. I'm sure a company like Good For Her (http://www.goodforher.com) would be able to point you in the right direction. See, there are companies that specialize in making things that are vagina-friendly, unlike Mr. Speculum. I'm sure they could cooperate with the medical community so that cells could be gotten from the cervix in a more comfortable manner.
Just think, Dalton -- women everywhere would love you! Your wife would be unspeakably grateful! Women make up 51% of the electorate, but we vote less. Inspire us! Also, when it comes to advertising, Dani and I would be more than happy to assist. :)
Most Sincerely,
Heather Ann Kaldeway
<-- Non-Blog Writing
