Christianity vs Christ: 31 July 2003
I have been thinking a lot lately about my faith. I think it comes down to two key things:
1. I don't like Christianity. I don't like the form, I don't like sitting in church listening to people spout off rhetoric that is usually unresearched and which no one questions. I don't like singing songs that most people can't possibly sing sincerely. I don't like how those on worship teams get idolized by the congregation and how those on custodial teams get treated like crap if they get noticed at all. I don't like how the church is all about the church building and the church budget and the new carpet and what style of worship should we go to and we-can't-do-that-we'll-hurt-Mr.-Big-Donor's-feelings. I don't like the Prayer of Jabez movement or the Left Behind series or the over-marketing of poorly written books. I don't like the WWJD bracelets worn by kids who are never taught much about what Christ really did and said. I don't like being associated with people like Bob Schuller and George Dubya Bush and Jerry Falwell and Hal Lindsay when I say that I'm a Christian. I don't like being pegged as very traditional and conservative because of that label. I don't like it when gay people are a bit afraid of what I'll think. I don't like it when people think that I'm stupid, that I don't think or question things, because of that label.
2. I love Christ. I think that Christianity is a reaction to him, a system that arose out of people acting in response to what He said and did, and I think that the system has moved too far away from the Person. I love that He had compassion on people, that he hung out with (and drank with) cheats and liars and prostitutes and minimum-wage workers and rednecks and also had time to hang out with the high and mighty religious leaders who had the humility to ask him honest questions. I love it that he wasn't cowed by them, that he said it straight, that he told it like it was and is.
Many times, I find myself questioning my place in the whole Christian faith community, questioning whether "Christian" is an accurate title for me and to be quite frank, that scares the shit out of me. I've always been taught that that's a dangerous thing. However, I think I'm learning that it's more dangerous to think that you have it all figured out, to think that you have it together, to not fear the wrath or not value the mercy of God. Philip Yancey once quoted someone as saying that "doubt is the midwife of faith" and I take great comfort in that.
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