Joseph Girzone: 28 July 2001
"Relaxing in my hotel room one day, I picked up a copy of a book on Buddha. After giving a synopsis of Buddha's life, the book went on to describe his way of life and the principles for healthy spiritual living. The rest of the book contained a detailed description of how Buddha arrived at his vision of life, and how his followers in imitating him, could find their way to inner peace. We don't do that with Jesus. We have endless books about whether He existed, or whether the Jesus we have learned about is really accurate and historical or mythical. We have endless complicated tracts on fine technical issues, but we don't explore Jesus' way to happiness and peace, or try to understand His feelings about God and creation or how He views our relationship with God or His attitude towards human weakness." (p. 9, Never Alone, Joseph Girzone)
I told S. about Joseph Girzone's analogy that many people, when they become Christians, or rededicate, or have a camp experience, they decide to stop sinning right then and there. He said that not only is that impossible, it causes irreperable damage. He likened it to deciding to work out and attempt to bench-press 350lbs on the first day. It's not possible, and it's not wise or needed or expected or beneficial. He also said that God is like a parent who encourages their children when they are learning to walk and does not get angry, or even disappointed, when they inevitably fall down.
Today I told E about my discovery that while drinking and smoking pot may not be the wisest thing, it's not "wrong," and it's community. He was a little shocked that I had the courage to say that, though he totally agreed. I had forgotten how risqué it was to say those things. I'm glad, because it's honest and graceful and not proud. I can remember going through spiritual phases and 'discovering' tongues or sanctification or Judaic roots, etc etc, and believing that I had stumbled on the truth and having this proud pity for people who had not discovered it. I waited for it to be revealed to them so they could be happy and theologically perfect like I was(n't). I don't think I have that right now. I mean, I don't feel like evangelising anyone, though I do wish we weren't so blinded by theology that we couldn't see Jesus' lifestyle. I mean, right now, I find it impossible to read the Bible because it's so clouded by all the teaching I've had. It's not that my teaching has been wrong, maybe it's been perfect. But when I read Jesus' words, they are so rehearsed in my head. They've become clichés. I hope I can come back to them soon, because I'm looking forward to seeing Jesus' life story.
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