At Peace: 27 July 2001
I remember when I used to go to Monday night prayer meetings with the crazy people. One night I asked for prayer for the Christian bookstore I work at, and they went nuts trying to break the spirit/curse of poverty. Of course, they all go to Ottawa for their Christian bookstore needs. Thanks, guys. You can have faith, but faith without works is dead.
"The noise thereof sheweth concerning it; the cattle also concerning the vapour." (Job 36:33) All Scripture is useful for rebuking. Maybe this is for rebuking cattle?
I think the most marked difference in my spirit between today and a few days ago is that I have peace. I trust God. I trust Him to stay and I feel His delight at being asked to abide. I can look at Him again.
Here's how I'm thinking: God doesn't want to push me away and I don't want to push Him away. Then I worry because of all the "no one can see God without holiness" and "you're lukewarm, prepare to be vomited" verses. But, really, I want to be with God and He wants to be with me. What is holier than that? It's the sacred mystery of being desired by the Creator. So I'm at peace, because while I don't understand all the logistics of Passover and High Priests and forerunners and crucifixions, I do understand the desire to be with the one that you love. If I am so lucky to be desired by Elohim, I will not argue.
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