Where I'm "Supposed" to Be: 26 September 2001
D. did chapel today and talked about his struggle with depression and believing that God didn't like him, and how he now sees that God does like him. He talked about God's plans for each of our lives, which is a concept I'm running into a lot here. It's hard, because my idea of "God's plan for my life" got thrown out with the rest of my Army garbage. I don't think God does have a plan for my life. It's a disappointing, sad thought, but it's there nonetheless, and I don't know if it's true or not. I'm certainly unsure where I want to be, much less where I'm "supposed" to be.
God, forgive me for my lack of passion and my fleshly heart. Give me a contrite heart and a true knowledge of who You are. Don't let me stay lukewarm, but let me still be able to play with M. Make me more holy, and more able to hang out with the drunks, whores, and questionable characters whom you love so very much. Make me be able to sing worship songs without lying. Change my heart, but not in such a way that I become a flake or a bore.
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