Choosing An Angle: 24 October 2003
I think something I need to do is to figure this out without considering how it affects my relationships with people. I can't stay in a religion just for the community. Also, I can't leave just because of the community. It is true or untrue, valid or invalid, and that must be determined for myself.
How could I, in the midst of all my doubts and questions, be an encouragement to so many peoples' faith in the last two years? This will really devastate people like HB, since I "taught" her so much. But why was my bitching and picking holes so helpful? And why do I suddenly feel like the whole thing is about control? How much influence has MetaFilter had in this process? If I ditch, were my years at bible college a waste? I don't think so. I learned a lot there, and made a lot of friends.
I don't know what to think of the Old Testament right now. Some history, some ravings, a law code. I still think the Psalms are valid, they're just like diary-ish songs. Then there's Job, which is a thorn in my side whether true or not. I have to go through the New Testament again. Maybe I should just read the whole thing, start to finish. Might be the best test. Write down all the questions.
<--sooner · later-->
<-- Faith Dissolved