I have been missing church lately. I think I am homesick for a part of home that isn't the same anymore, and part of that is church and youth group and managing the Christian bookstore and being in cell groups and Youth for Christ and having mentors like DB and writing prayer journals and being in accountability groups and singing worship songs around campfires and helping out at youth rallies and playing sardines with K and piling into the P family van and having MC come pick me and J up at school in his beat-up K-car and joking around with H about the Oran Thornton Fan Club and loving C for introducing me to the Lounge Freak CD at LazerQuest and duct-taping a certain irritating member of our group to a large tree in the church parking lot. I still sing my own versions of worship songs but rarely run into people who get the joke when I sing "I could sleep in my bed forever" to the tune of "I could sing of your love forever" or when I sing "Roommate, bring me breakfast" to the tune of "Jesus, be the centre". I have also realised lately that I will never approach another book the way I approached the Bible, nothing else will be True and Good the way that it was, nothing else will be expected to have the words of Life, the power of the Holy Spirit, the Breath of God. Nothing else will be so meditated on and so trusted and I will never be so wary of the power of a book as I was with the Scriptures. Sometimes that makes me relieved and sometimes that makes me sad. Christianity was a big part of me, sometimes I feel like I am missing... me.
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