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<-- Faith Dissolved

What I Liked About My Faith: 14 November 2003

Okay, this is an exercise from Leaving the Fold by Marlene Winell, p. 61, Chapter "Understanding Your Involvement".

What I Have Liked About My Religion

I liked having a system that I could base things on. I liked having the Bible as a reference manual for life, the user's guide. If I didn't know what to do, I could pray or find it in the Bible or ask my pastor. I didn't have to be accountable for my decisions, because they were God's decisions.

I liked Jesus, a lot. I liked that he was kind and strong and gentle and very interested in me, that he knew me and loved me without reservation. I liked being able to receive forgiveness.

I liked having an excuse for being unpopular. I liked having Jesus as a friend when I had no friends. I liked knowing all the stories. I liked winning trivia contests and knowing songs and singing alto in choirs.

I liked worship. I liked getting lost in it, being in a mystical place, letting myself be emotional.

I liked knowing the afterlife and not fearing it. "O death, where is your sting?" I liked the elitism, feeling separate from bad people, feeling like a sheep among goats. I liked feeling led, feeling that someone was preparing a husband for me. Feeling that my love life would work out because God has a good plan.

I liked teaching and giving advice. It gave me power, it felt right, I felt used well and like I fit, like I was where I belonged. I liked being right, being enlightened.

I liked the companionship, the unending prayer conversation. I liked denial. I liked quick fixes to character flaws, praying instead of working on issues. I liked evangelising, I felt like I was helping.

I liked believing in heaven and the prospects of seeing people again. I wanted to meet those who had gone on before—I wanted to see Henri Nouwen and Rich Mullins and John Calvin and Bonhoeffer.

I liked praying for people and believing that it was effective. I liked thinking God was there and intimate and holy and magnanimous. I liked that security.

I liked unofficial communion in Victoria Park. I liked reading favourite Scriptures with J. I liked Christian inside jokes with J. and T. I liked Philip Yancey's answers. I liked Caedmon's Call and Hokus Pick. I liked Cornerstone. I liked feeling we were on to something at the Pentecostal church. I liked having something in common with new people.

<--sooner · later-->

<-- Faith Dissolved