I Don't Fit Here: 09 October 2001
They hate me. I mean, they must hate me. God. I'm so insecure tonight. I talked to B and G about my (not) spiritual life tonight and they don't see it, and they ask me what it would take for me to get back into a good relationship with God. (Well, if I knew that...) I just don't care, and that makes me not fit here. I don't fit in my part of the dorm, I don't fit in Chapel, I don't fit in the whole "let's evangelize!" group, I don't fit back home, I don't fit in my own head. I just want to know who I want to be, to know where I want to fit, and then go do that. But I am the epitome of discontent inside, and I hate telling people that becaues they'll think I'm sick or depressed or abnormal or something other than I am. I enjoy the secular theatre atmosphere better than this Christian cheesy crap.
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