Church History: 09 May 2003
I just finished two years at two different bible colleges, and now I'm applying to university for Linguistics. I'm afraid that people will write me off immediately when they find out about the bible college experience, both online as well as in my school prospects. The thing is, I hate Christian culture just as much as the next person. I hate the crusades and the egotistical ravings and the elitism and the child molestation and the wars and the pro-life bombers... I don't support that. I just happen to like Jesus and I can't escape him. He intrigues me, as do a lot of the Christian thinkers. People like Bonhoeffer, CS Lewis, Evelyn Underhill, GK Chesterson, JRR Tolkien... these people are on to something. I don't like the Jerry Falwells. I hate looking at the history of the church and seeing how corrupted it can become by power. I hate knowing that in the Reformation, it wasn't just the Protestants vs. the Catholics, it was also the Protestants vs. the Protestants, it was Luther calling Zwingli "an ass" over differences of opinion about communion. It was fights that didn't consist just of words, but of armies. The church has spawned so much racism, so much war, so much unnecessary and unjustifiable violence, and I can't argue with those who say that.
But, I don't think that's what Jesus intended. How did this come about from following a guy who told us to love our enemies, not to react in vengeance? How did this come from a guy who told us not to seek superiority, who told us that the person he considered the greatest was the one who took the crap jobs and got no recognition?
So, I'm a Christian, but only because I try to follow Christ, not because I'm all that impressed with Christianity. And I am far from having it all figured out. Most of my spiritual life is comprised of doubt, rather than certaintly, and I believe that Yancey is right when he says that "doubt is the midwife of faith."
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