I'm on the bus on the way to [city of bible college #1] for the first time since deconversion. I feel very odd. I'm excited to see people, but I'm also nervous, apprehensive, dreading making people upset. I am fairly certain that they won't understand. People have made the point that I don't need to tell anyone just yet if I don't want to. True, but we'll see if I feel fake with them or not. If it's okay, I might leave it for now. I'll tell JB though, I trust him to be fairly rational.
I really need to research Mithras and Attis and Dionysius. Those guys just seal it for me—if they were worshipped and were as similar to Jesus as POCM says, then the whole thing is just ludicrous. It does explain about what happened 2000 years ago though, not salvation—plagiarism.
Yesterday I realised that our idea of a spiritual heaven has only been around since Galileo proved it wasn't a physical layer of the solar system. That means that Paul and Jesus didn't believe what we believe. I always wondered why Sheol was just the grave, not heaven or hell. Well, that's all anyone believed in then. Just the place of the dead, the underworld. Good Egyptians drank from a special pool in the place of the dead, and good Jews went to Abraham's bosom in Sheol. The Bible doesn't say what we say. Even what we interpret as heaven is supposed to be after judgement on earth. I keep having "aha!" moments and realising such things. Intuitive processes all over the place.
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