In the last couple of weeks, so many people have found my profile on Facebook. People from high school. People from bible college. People from
elementary school. People who I last saw in grade 8 and who now look so much like adults. It's making me feel old. So many of my friends have babies!
I don't ever feel like an adult. I usually refer to myself (aloud or in my head) as a 'girl', rather than as a 'woman', and to Christopher as a 'boy' rather than as a 'man', because he is the boy I love. I catch myself referring to my friends' husbands as their boyfriends*. I still feel too young to be interested in 'men' because I think of men as males who are older than me, more around my father's age. And yet we own a condo together and sometimes discuss procreation and marriage (or the lack thereof), and those are certainly adult things.
When my friends and I talk about our dating lives, we talk about 'a new boy on the scene' and if he is appropriate, we say he is a 'nice boy', and if not, we decide that 'boys' suck. When I think of a 'nice man', I think of a doctor or an elderly man, not a potential dating partner.
My
Language and Gender professor was very surprised by this. She expected any female over 16 (18?) to consider herself a 'woman' and to be insulted by a phrase like 'the girl in the next office'. She thought that male office workers were referred to as 'men' and female office workers were referred to as 'girls' and this was a sign of disrespect (infantilization). I think the analog to 'girl' in that situation is 'guy', and thus there isn't any disrespect. I would be rather surprised to be referred to as 'the woman in the next office', simply because I expect that person to be women like my professors (older than me, possessing PhDs), not women like myself.
*This slip-up may have more to do with the fact that my relationship with Christopher doesn't function all that differently than my friends' relationships with their husbands, so if he's my boyfriend, their partners are functionally equivalent, and I mess up the terms.