1. Conversation overheard in the break room today:
   a: You know, I'll be happy when I meet someone who looks at me and says, "Yeah, he'll do."
   b: Yeah, [girl] and I constantly threaten to leave each other — "You know, I could leave! Maybe I'll just leave now!" — but we know that it's an empty threat. I mean, by this point, who else would put up with our nonsense?
   a: Yeah, now that you've worn each other down to a mere nub.
   b: Exactly. Though the way you say it kind of takes the romance out of it.
   
   
2. Geekiest line I've gotten from the boyfriend this week: "Baby, I love you so much that it would take the internet forever to transfer it."
   
   
3. Once upon a time, there was a man named Bill, and he was responsible for the stupidity of Microsoft Word and also for the entirely unhelpful 'help' files therein, and I resented him for it. Out loud.
   
   
4. Yesterday I saw a talk by Michael Snow and he showed slides of a gallery exhibition of a large transparent photo of a couple having sex, noting that since it was in the middle of a crowded gallery, viewers could see other viewers through the photo, so it was a private moment but it was simultaneously also crowded and public, "and that was pretty great." Cue awkward laughter.
   
   
5. The only concrete reason so far:
   "Well, we're not planning on getting married."
   "But... but, presents!!! You'll miss out on the LOOT!!"
   
   
6. The New Condo, by The Cats: Ooh, I can run over here! and here! and here! Do I still own this chair? I better rub my face on it again just to make sure! Now I will jump on this counter, and that one, and the table! and there are windowsills, perfect for viewing those blasted pigeons, walking on the ground, so tasty... mmrrr... mreh! mreh! Ooh, the humans are stirring, it must be BREAKFAST TIME ALREADY!! Time to jump on them and meow until they do our bidding!!
   
   
7. A lot of people are fighting about whether moderate religion is bad or not, given the assumption that fundamentalism is total crap. ("Moderate [religion] validates radical [religion]! We have to stamp it all out! OMG!!!") A lot of people miss some major points, including: a) belief/disbelief is not a choice, and b) not all religions/religious varieties are dogmatic and that does not make them less legitimate. I get very interested in this discussion, but now I am fed up with everyone. I am an atheist of sorts, but loudmouths such as Dawkins and Harris do not represent my perspective.
   
   
8. I have baked chocolate chip cookies from the standard Joy of Cooking recipe twice. Twice they have ended up flat and they all run into each other on the baking sheet. Possible problems to troubleshoot: Our oven is HOLY HECK hot and I'm having trouble finding a good temperature? Too little flour? Too much butter? Positioned too high/low in the oven?
   
   
9. I had some programming questions, so Jonathan introduced me to DOM Levels. They're an overarching set of instructions for HTML, PHP, Javascript, etc. Being the syntax geek that I am, I excitedly emailed my old syntax prof, telling her that web languages have a UNIVERSAL GRAMMAR! And you can just look it up! And there are appendices to translate it into individual languages! And it's JUST LIKE LINGUISTIC SYNTAX but man-made and we have the answer key! And please be proud of me because I didn't go to grad school like you encouraged me to, but I am using my Syntax knowledge in the real world!
   

1. Quail Jesus!

2. I'm scrambling madly to learn enough Javascript and PHP for a project at work. It turns out that learning to write .bat files as a 10 year old was actually a swell idea, because now I'm not totally starting from scratch. Thanks, Dad!

3. From 'It is What it Is', a sequel to 'Oh, For The Love Of God':

In my early 30s, ... a pastor ... helped me to root out some deeply held distorted thoughts about myself, and set me on the road toward a more rational (less panicked) style of thinking. From this point, I stumbled onto Donald Miller's Blue Like Jazz, and was amazed to find someone who expressed just my discomforts with Christianity as I'd experienced it (conservative, highly fundamentalist). For the first time, I felt drawn back toward Christianity — if there was a compassionate version out there, I wanted to find it! From there, I read Anne Lamott's Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith, and found myself again with a version of Christianity that works with my values. Sometime before these, by the way, I'd found God's Politics, and experienced a lightbulb moment with that book as well. I'd found my niche. I would be a 'Sojourners' type of Christian. I even still receive my magazine subscription in the mail.

As I explored my own spirituality more, I started to realize that my own values weren't grounded in my religion — rather I was forcing my religion to be grounded in my values. Even as I attended United Church of Christ (left-wing, open and affirming) services, I found myself drawn in by the messages of peace and kindness, not so much the message of Christianity. Easter service stirred me not because of my thoughts of Jesus' death on a cross, but rather because of the emotional height inspired by a brass duet playing traditional hymns. Each and every time I started to ask myself if I *really* believed in Jesus, I squelched the thought.

Emphasis added where I nodded my head and said, "Oh, for sure, me too." My Blue Like Jazz was Brennan Mannings' The Ragamuffin Gospel. Still a beautiful book, and still appreciated independently of its Christian leanings.

New temp job starts tomorrow. 6–8 weeks, downtown, people are nice, should be good experience. Web administration, here I come!

1. Have an interview for another temp job, this time in web administration.
2. Wonder why you haven't thought of this before. You know web stuff. You know communications stuff. Why not combine them?
3. Consider actually learning to code in PHP and Javascript, though you feel that it is about 10 years too late for jumping on the Javascript train.
4. Consider your begging for compliments yesterday to be a ROUSING SUCCESS.
5. Play with the lovely Catherine, the City of Toronto's newest intern!

Discoveries yesterday:
1. The Tap Phong Trading Company in Chinatown has better kitchen containers (glass! square! cheap!) than anywhere else I have looked.
2. There is a pet food store in Kensington Market that actually carries our cat food! Who knew!
3. Buying baking supplies for the first time is expensive. It's no fun buying it all at once -- corn syrup, icing sugar, molasses, worchestershire sauce (or however you spell that), shortening, different types of flour. But now I have it all and can commence baking.
4. Gravol. It gets a thumbs up.

1. Exploit the beauty of your Underwood #5 typewriter and redesign your website.
2. Realise you've fallen in love with browns. A quick look at your wardrobe confirms this.
3. Contemplate grocery shopping.
4. Cuddle with the cats, who are even more affectionate when groggy.

Yes, I'm applying for jobs. No, the temp agency hasn't hooked me up with anything yet. Yes, I've called them. Yes, I've contacted other agencies too. Yes, I've been applying to jobs on Craigslist, the Job Bank, Workopolis, Charity Village, the university job boards, etc., every day for the past four months. Yes, I've been networking. Yes, I write custom cover letters. No, I don't want any more advice. Yes, it is depressing.

Now tell me my website is pretty.

The Ontario College of Art & Design, as viewed from our balcony:



Grange Park, from our bedroom window:

Globe and Mail headline today: Contrite Bush Pledges Increased Troops in Iraq

How exactly is that contrite? Yes, he says he is sorry for getting into this mess, which only 20% of Americans currently support, so instead of bringing the troops home, he is going to send MORE and EXTEND the stays of troops currently there. This is not withdrawal, it is not even just staying the course, it is acceleration. "Where mistakes have been made, the responsibility rests with me," he said, and his current strategy is to continue making those mistakes, but to make them BIGGER. He does not have the support of Congress, of Americans, nor the Iraqi government. And America is democratic. Ahem.

In other news, my boyfriend bought a Nintendo. He currently owns one game: Star Trek. Please join me in mocking him.

One more day of work. Still facing unemployment on Monday, despite all my best efforts. Hello, depression.

Here is a prime example why the return of JJ Rowland's Wigu comic is such a great thing (earlier adventures archived here. Who else can draw a sarcastic child absolutely exasperated with a slacker Jesus so well? Between this and Questionable Content, I'm a happy girl. :)

My temp job (you know, the 2-week assignment that has lasted for 4 months now) is ending next Friday. Boo, financial uncertainty!

In an effort to build more editing skills, I'm reading A Gentle Introduction to SGML. SGML is Standard Generalized Markup Language, which is sort of the parent of HTML (complicated, I won't bother detailing it), which is what much of the world wide web is written in. Since I already know HTML, I've got a pretty good head start, but there's enough new information to keep me entertained. This way, when I'm bored at work, I can actually use my brain!

On the elevator at work:

Him: Really nice weather today!
Me: I know, it's supposed to go up to 14 degrees tomorrow, it's pretty crazy.
Him: *ever so brief pause* You a Christian?
Me: Nope.
Him: No? Why not?
Me: Well, I used to be.
Him: You used to be?
Me: Yep. (enjoying his incredulous response to my unapologetic answers)
Him: You believe in the Bible?
Me: Nope.
Him: Well. You know how you can know it is true? You look at the prophesies.
Me: (searching for non-confrontational response, stumbles upon something lame) Well, we'll see about that.

And then the elevator reached the ground floor and we parted. Funny, whenever I happen to read part of Revelation or the Hebrew prophets now, I wonder how I ever could have read that stuff and not thought those dudes were on a drug trip gone weird.

This is probably one of the first times I've been witnessed to by someone in Toronto who wasn't a crazy street preacher. I'm sure he thinks he's gotten me thinking about Jesus now, and all I'm thinking is that I'm so glad I don't feel a responsibility to do that to people anymore. (Not that I did witness like that before, but now I don't even feel guilty about it!)