I really like The Show by Ze Frank, and well, everything else Ze has ever done. This episode about happiness vs. circumstances yesterday was particularly appropriate for me right now. I've been feeling frustrated lately, especially because I'm trying to make so many decisions right now (what job to take, college?, grad school?, decisions regarding moving in with Chris, etc.) and I always want to make the Right Decision. (Hint: does not exist.) So, I hem and haw, and get all worked up about stuff, and have dreams where I'm always angry or frustrated, and find myself bolt awake at 5am every day and/or exhausted and grumpy all the time. I need to just pick something and do it and work on being happy with whatever I end up with. Why is that so hard for me?

Maybe it's not the choices I make that make me feel dissatisfied with things, it's the fact that I always suspect that I could be doing better, having more fun, making more friends, doing more interesting things, making more money, etc. I have to stop suspecting and start looking around appreciating what I do have.

Because, what I have is pretty great. I live in a city that I find absolutely fascinating and beautiful. I live in a country that I'm proud of and comfortable in. I have a job. I have good roommates. I just finished a degree in a topic that I find incredibly interesting, and I finished at the top of my class. I have a lot of student debt, yeah, but I got to go to university! I've had great jobs. I live in a time of wireless internet, endless accessibility to more information than I'll ever be able to consume! My parents make me laugh more than most people on the planet. Two of my friends just had a gorgeous baby daughter. I'm moving in with a boy who I can't get enough of and his darling kitties in just a few months!

So, things are good, and I need to step back and realise that more.

discussion on ze's boards here