Well, I'm moved out and living downtown now. It went alright. My parents helped out and then stayed in my new place for a few days and got to try some REAL Toronto restaurants (i.e. Vietnamese and Indian, instead of Kelsey's and Swiss Chalet) and tour through Kensington Market a bit.

Now I'm at my parents' place. There are three cases of beer downstairs (!) and clementines and eggnog, and I went to Don's Fish & Chips for lunch. Ah, Brockville, the town where people remember me as "that girl who used to run the Christian bookstore." Sometimes I just want to run away. Tonight my parents will go to church, and Melissa and I will sit here drinking beer and watching movies. Hey, it beats communion wine.

Heading back to Toronto on the 27th, with Melissa in tow until the 2nd, where I will work on unpacking and visiting friends and writing a paper before school starts back up on the 4th.

I've had most of my appetite back since I finished exams and the move, but I'm still crying every day. This is driving me crazy. I'd like to hit fast-forward and be done school, to have healed a bit, to start feeling optimistic about the future again, because it looks pretty frustrating from here.

At least there's still the St. Lawrence River. We went and had our lunch sitting on Blockhouse Island today and it was cold and foggy and gross out, so much that we could hardly see the American side of the river, but I just find it to be such a comforting thing. I don't really know how to explain it, except that the river has always been this huge presence in my life, this big body of water that keeps on flowing no matter what. It was how I figured out which way was south for a long time; it was the landmark. It feels like home.


Mallorytown Landing, via