How can it possibly be humid? We haven't had enough rain for humidity! It is bloody hot and doesn't show any sign of letting up, and to top it all off, we're having a drought. Well, I'm not sure what the line is between "only a quarter of the needed rainfall since May" and "drought," but whatever. At least my office is air-conditioned. Home, not so much.

Seriously funky crochet. I only wish I could do that.

This week has been a mixed bag. I had a nice weekend with Christopher and his kitties and we saw the Toronto Outdoor Art Exhibition, which was cool. There was a girl there who made scarves with greenery on one side and carrots on the other, it was pretty funny. Chris drooled over paintings of streetcars, and I gave up yet another chance to tell Peter D. Harris that I absolutely love his stuff. (I always fear that I will sound stupid -- "empty overpasses! I have no idea why I like them so much but I do!") Then again, I have been feeling a little weird lately... a little stressed because my two summer jobs are STILL overlapping (the first should have been done weeks ago), and I'm feeling emotional for no reason (PMS? fuck off!). Then, a girl I know (knew) at home committed suicide last Friday and ugh... that brought up a lot of stuff to do with my uncle's suicide, and she was from the church that I grew up in, and I love that church and this is hard... So, I cried for a while, which I've been feeling like doing for a few weeks now.

I still wish there was a secular equivalent of church. I don't think a lot of my non-Christian friends know what it means when I say that I love the church I grew up in. It's not the building (heck no, monstrosity that it's become), it's that I started going there when I was two years old, and saw it grow from about 300 people to 1000, and it's a huge social network and there are people there that have known me practically my whole life. I have friends there that I played with in the nursery when we first got there. I ended up going to college with some of them.

I remember leaving that church when I was 17, for another church, and wanting to write them a letter and say "I'm leaving because you guys suck at this, that, and the other thing" and I ended up writing them a long letter thanking them for all the things they had done for me over the years -- whether it was giving me a place to hang out and play with other kids, or being people I could go to for advice or laughs or confidentiality. Their theology wasn't quite the same as mine at the time, but I knew their hearts were in the right place and they were doing their best. Nobody in my family goes there anymore and I'm an atheist, and I still consider it my church back home.

I also miss the potlucks. I'd instigate some, but it's not as much fun without a billion little kids running around. In high school, Tim and I once brought a cooler full of water balloons to a potluck instead of food. I think the parents were ready to kill us, but we were heroes for a day in the kids' eyes. :)

Friday = one year of dating Chris! Yay!